Just Because He Said It, Doesn't Make It True

I watched a video today of a woman crying.

She had posted something about being divorced, and the response she got?

Thousands of comments from men telling her she wasn’t attractive enough to be asked out. That she wasn’t worth pursuing. That she shouldn’t even try.

And what broke me wasn’t just the cruelty — it was that she believed them.

Because she’s been divorced for years. Because she hasn’t dated in a while. Because when enough people say something, you start to wonder if maybe it’s true.

And I thought of my daughter.

Different story. Same ache. She’s been in relationships that tore her down — not just emotionally, but mentally. She’s been called names. Made to feel worthless. Repeatedly told who and what she supposedly was until it started to seep into her bones.

And no matter how many times I tell her she’s beautiful, worthy, loved… I can still see the damage.

That’s what people don’t realize: Cruelty doesn’t always come in screaming fits or obvious abuse. Sometimes it’s quiet. Repetitive. Insidious. Sometimes it hides in 'jokes,' or comments from strangers online, or the silence that follows when someone decides you're not enough.

And if you hear it enough, especially from people you trusted—or people you wanted to trust—you start to believe the lie.

But here’s the truth:

Just because he said it doesn’t make it true. Just because they rejected you doesn’t mean you’re unlovable. Just because someone couldn’t see your value doesn’t mean you don’t have any.

You are not too late. You are not too much. You are not broken beyond repair.

You are becoming. You are healing. And the people who tried to dim you? They don’t get the final word.

So to the woman on TikTok: You are still worthy of love.

To my daughter: You are still more than what they said.

To any woman reading this who’s ever felt wrecked by someone else's opinion of her:

You don’t have to keep carrying their words. You get to let them go. You get to rebuild in truth.

Because just because he said it doesn’t make it true.